This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
