she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize