I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
