I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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