belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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