My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i out mim tonsoeep
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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