No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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