he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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