Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
