You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
