You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize