He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
