Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
