I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
These tits shall not be calmed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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