Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
