Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
