worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
