i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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