I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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