I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
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Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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