bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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