yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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