Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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