i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
