My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
