Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize