I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
