youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she peed on how many people?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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