His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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