the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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