is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
