I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize