I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
