pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the condom got lost in my hair
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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