Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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