yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
