yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize