naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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