Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Found the puke drawer
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
