he thought i was a dude.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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