Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize