I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
