6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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