i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
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