I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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