Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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