i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
