In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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