goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
