i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
