just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
