i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize