she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
