Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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