oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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