belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
