Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
